July 16, 2006
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The implications are clear from the last two proverbs. When I'm the complainer, I'd best be ready to be wounded by a friend rather than kissed by an enemy. When I'm the counselor, I'd best be ready to wound as a friend rather than kiss as an enemy.
So when someone comes to you to complain about another's behaviour, I've suggested that your choice is simple: Minister or manipulate. Do what's best for the complainer, or do what'll get you something.
In 2 Sam 15:1-6, we can see an example of manipulation. People came discontent (seeking justice). Rather than minister to them on behalf of the king, he gave them what they wanted (verdicts, praise, honor). In 4 years, he "stole their hearts" from King David (his own dad).
Comments (2)
Sometimes I cause dissension not only because I want to build myself up in the eyes of my friend, but also because I'm concerned that this other person is either causing or will cause my friend harm. My instinct is to protect, and sometimes that means saying things about others that I shouldn't. Sometimes I do manage to corral my tongue though, so I guess there's hope that the divine muzzle will work on me sometimes
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Or offer to mediate. I find that when people come to complain, they usually don't like to do it in front of the person they are complaining about. If you let them know that their complaints will be presented to the other party, usually the gossip stops.
Heather
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